I step up and grab hold of the mic stand, a little too tight.
the audience is silent.
a moment passes, someone coughs.
lips nearly pressed against the mic, I begin to speak.
"A b—" I am interrupted by a squeal of feedback. I step back and wait for the sound guy to give me the thumbs-up.
more gingerly, I start again. "A burger."
a pause. scattered, abortive applause; the audience glancing side to side, looking for consensus.
"with blue cheese," I continue.
steady applause now, a lone "yeah!" from the back. seconds pass. I hold up an open hand to signal for calm.
leaning into the mic again, I conclude, "and sriracha."
deafening applause, the whole audience on their feet. hoots and hollers. I hold up my hand again, but to no avail. humbly, I bow thrice and leave the stage.