To whoever it is that is trying to ruin my life.
I am vastly braver and stronger of character than you could ever be.

Dont forget that lest you end up like me.

on the other hand, it's kind of a relief the idea that anyone would be stalking my social media.
it means that i dont have to specifically address or explain or put up any kind of social cues to them, that i can voice my thoughts and feelings and i dont have to care what they think about it cause hey, i didnt make you come here, i dont say these things "to" you.

i am a simple person but that simplicity spands over multiple different sides and personalities.

the person you're reading this from is not the person you meet out in the world.

the person you meet in the world is not the person i am in nature.

who i am in nature is not who i am in private.

and who i am in private does not reflect who i am when you've proven i can trust you.

i dont have much faith in anything anymore, but i have faith that the people that can stand me are people i want around.
the people that deserve to be in my life are the people that wanted me when no one else did, because they could see past everything i put up to keep assholes away from me.

they loved me when no one else would.

they care for me even if i dont deserve it.

they support me even when i fail.

they remind me of what's real.

you dont.

Just once i wish i could find a decent paying profession that doesnt suck up all the time i have in the world

Or ask of me to push my body to its limits

Or requires me to go to a school with an insecure teacher that stalks my social media like a bitch

Or makes me have to deal with people whos breath smells like shit that think im just so super stoked they chose me for a friend

Or has women that make it their life goal to try and traumatize me

Or really just anyone that just wants to waste my fucking time on this earth.

Thatd be nice.
Itd be really super cool and make me very happy and feel like totally awesome hip hip hurray or whatever socially sanitized catchphrase im allowed to use.

All i have ever wanted is to be able to form my connections with people organically and in my own time, to people i have personally picked because i see something in them thats just kinda special or interesting to me.

But for some reason im instead a magnet to people that are the complete opposite a lot of the time, mostly in person, i dont know what it is about me that attracts these people.

Do i seem like an easy target?
Do i seem like jesus reborn?
What do you want from me and why are you following my entire life when i dont even care to talk to you unless its important.

I did find it funny though, watching you squirm behind the facade that you didnt know anything about me, social media isnt the entire world and its sad someone as old as you would treat it that way.

Has anyone ever complimented you for being an asshole before?
Its kinda weird.

Like the most positive attention ive ever recieved was when i was the worst version of myself possible.

And the nicer i try to be the less anyone wants anything to do with me