serial creaturemoder genderarmy

i hate being autistic and having emotions. emotions are meant to have a practical purpose but most of mine are so overwhelming that instead of galvanizing me into action they just paralyse me. shout out to love and anger though the only real ones.

this isn't a covert insult, i straight up didn't know that you could say things that weren't true until she explained the concept of lying to me at the age of like four or five. she's the one true autism ally

i see so much discourse in autistic about whether you're more "privileged" to have been formally diagnosed or not to be and all i can think is aren't you tired? aren't you tired of your only options being to struggle without support or to have your freedoms restricted in exchange for whatever support (sometimes in the form of abusive therapy) the state decides you deserve? aren't you fucking tired? i'm fucking tired.

we need to create a world where people don't need a medical certificate to be "allowed" to have accommodations and understanding and we need to create a world where people knowing you're autistic doesn't result in a tidal wave of discrimination and most of all we need to create a world where people can discuss privilege and oppression for more than five minutes without it turning into a dick measuring contest over who has it worse.

I think my face mask serves a similar purpose honestly. Like, i feel like whenever i'm with other people and i'm not wearing a mask, i'm constantly trying to run normal_facial_expressions.exe in the background (a program that consistently fails lol) and i only really noticed how draining it was after I stopped needing to do that constantly.

Now this would all be great if they didn't also make me impossible to be heard without practically shouting lol. but ah well, you win some you lose some.

*for those of you who don't know chuck, please know that i am refering to a literal full-face pink mask here.