also thinking about how i used to look a remarkable lot like a skeleton but i still thought i was a fat-fucking-ass because my nose didn't curl up and my cheeks are just kinda round and my boobs aren't fucking xxl and never would be
and how the pervasive "asex = inhuman" meant i thought the reason i was unable to be horny was because i was just sooooo ugly and awful and incredibly fat even though pictures of me from 2021 look like a malnourished corpse with shockingly good hair
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