i really loved playing cultist simulator, but even now it's still just steeped in the complicated feeling of its singular writing voice (which i also loved) belonging to a guy who sucks
could i rationalize having a good time with that game again, to myself? probably. would playing it support said sucky guy? not really, if i don't advertise it. would any invisible scale tip anywhere? do i believe in the modern online moral microaction? do i believe in a moral microchange happening to me or my self from this? none of it really feels worth bringing up, much less making any actual value judgments about.
it just feels weird. it was a relaxing, moody game that hit the right spots in my mind and my thoughts. it feels weird now and probably wouldn't let me relax the same way or feel the same mysterious way. when a stranger displays rotten ethics somewhere, i can't really map out where and how it changes their earlier work. the feeling just remains there, ill defined, taunting me.