got my gumption all collected to head out and exercise with a swim at the city pool, get the body moving and move its attention away from some badbrain, you know the deal. so i get going and after five minutes realize i didn't bring my bag, which, alright, i'll head back and get a later bus.
then i get my stuff, motivate myself for a second run at function, and get there. the podcast episode is fun, i see other people on the bus who are clearly also headed for a swim, it's nice. i get all the way to the city pool counter before i realize the armband with my ticket stored in it isn't in my bag.
i'm home again now cause bus routes weren't really conducive to getting anything else done. i guess what i'm trying to say is. read any good comics lately
went swimming, first try, got it in one. there's this really nice quality of moving around in the water - my feel for my own body is kind of weird, i won't realize i've lost or put on a bunch of weight unless someone tells me, for example - but every time i go for a swim i can feel very concretely how my body is doing. since i've been exercising, my weight is now more dense and i can dive much more easily. how far my individual arm and leg movements can take me are proof of my muscles changing. just moving in the water gives me so much joy and makes me feel like myself, feels right.
i think swimming is a way for me to come to terms with my body way more than all the attempts i've made through introspection. it allows me a self that can be there without any reason to be, for the moment just feeling the inertia of my movements direct me, the resistance, my hands pushing off the floor of the deep end so i can flip and swish and turn my way upward. i get some kind of buoyancy euphoria.
/Edit: and yes, if i was a guilty gear strive character my theme would absolutely be called Buoyancy Euphoria
