formerly "slow, unpleasant violence against a door" and "risk-hungry dice-idiot." i'm spammm on discord too if you want to say hey but please don't feel bad if i am flaky about it
another doctor's appointment, another round of filling out the paper that promises i'm not depressed despite being diagnosed with and medicated for depression
anxiety often gets portrayed as a person actually sincerely believing the things they're anxious about, and that is true sometimes, but the much more common(for me at least) and more infuriating thing is that you will know the thing you're thinking is not true and will even understand why you think that and your brain will still be like "but my tummy hurts so it must be real :(" and that's more convincing than anything you could say to your own brain
and the best you can do is remind yourself every five minutes or whatever that in a NORMAL human yes racing heart and cold sweats and vertigo means like a bear is chasing you or you're up a tall scary tree or whatever but for you it's just A Thing That Happens Sometimes and you have to continue on being alive and in the world in a regular way