This post has content warnings for: (academic) discussion of body image.
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in reply to @sperra's post:
I don't have any academic sources to point to that supports what I want to say, but it may be of interest anyway. Maybe not, that's fine too!
It might be easier to consider this topic if you relate it to another aspect of feminism- gender roles. What's bad about gender roles is the forced expectation that everyone absolutely must follow them. In the cishet binary normative view, men are breadwinners and women are home makers. Obviously some women want to and are very capable of being the head of the household, and some men are excellent caregivers (for the sake of argument I am not addressing the fact that gender isn't binary, that's not what this example is about. I'm trans and non-binary, I'm not trying to erase my own existence, just setting the groundwork for a thought process.) But, what if, after considering her options and feelings, a woman decides she likes being a home maker? Does that make her less progressive, less feminist? I wouldn't think so. Wanting things for ourselves that also align with the social status quo doesn't make us "part of the problem." The belief that you and everyone like you should meet those norms is the problem. Hating yourself and others for not meeting them is the problem. Wanting to be more fit does not mean you think all people should be so, you just want to. A woman who is feminine and enjoys make up and dresses and manicures is not anti feminist unless she thinks all women have to meet this standard in order to have value, including herself as she continues to age. Liking something mainstream doesn't make you boring or a sheep- sometimes popular things are enjoyable! You're only shallow if your forcing yourself to enjoy it for the social points. If your desire for literally anything that aligns with the status quo is motivated by "it makes me feel like me," you couldn't deny yourself that, because you understand that this is a personal desire, not a standard you think you and others have to meet to be worthwhile.
no this is excellent and helpful— thank you so much for taking the time!! love that you brought gender more into this because there definitely is an element of that baked into how all these thoughts form & subsequently play out for me. I'm no gender scholar, but if we consider gender to be sort of a way of representing ourselves (which I think is one small part of the biiiig thing that is gender), then I gotta say, as a nonbinary person myself, it weirdly feels more gender-aligned to me when I'm in better shape, even if that shape isn't necessarily more masculine or feminine. maybe that's wacky and something else I need to dissect, but it's a real feeling of mine that's there! but either way— thanks again for surfacing this and for writing your response— I think you're spot on with what you said, and it's deeply appreciated :)