idk if this is bad or not but part of the desire to volunteer at food bank is obviously to help community, cuz its what we believe in, because its important, and being a good neighbor, and fighting against the awful atomization and isolation of society
but part of it is that i spend so much time dwelling on how evil and bad i personally am and how almost nobody likes me nor SHOULD they like me and im socially isolated, but at least i will then have one thing i can point to about myself and say that that is something Good i do, that is a thing i do that is inarguably Good for the world. there is probably no way i could twist volunteering to help feed neighbors as More Evidence of Me Being An Irredeemably Evil Person Who Is Unsafe To Be Around And Should Just Hide In A Hole Forever. or at least it would require some truly absurd and spectacular mental gymnastics for me to turn that into a Bad Thing