spiders

daydreams, imaginary friends

traitorous fifth column secret fae here to tear apart the human world floorboard by floorboard with my teeth

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i go to bed early during the winter (like i try not to stay up past 11 and if i can i try to be in bed by 10:30) and that makes it seem like i've got "good sleep habits" but actually, my sleep is terrible.

im always waking up in the middle of the night or very early morning, often because i routinely need to pee in the middle of the night, sometimes its the stars that wake me up (especially orion and sirius), sometimes its dreams, sometimes its for seemingly no reason at all and i'm just awake for an hour at 3am. sometimes i just embrace chaos and read for a bit after laying in bed awake for 30 minutes at 3 in the morning

or i'll just naturally wake up naturally at 5 or 6 am (even if i went to bed late) and find myself unable to fall back asleep til my 7am alarm so i'll just get up with only 6 hours of sleep

so despite seeming like an "early to bed early to rise" sleeper im actually just fucked up and sleepy most of the time. my friend who regularly wakes up at like 2pm and thinks theyre circadian rhythm is "fucked" is probably actually getting healthier sleep than me.


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in reply to @spiders's post:

yea this is my theory is i'm just naturally particularly prone to first and second sleeps (especially in the winter when there's just so much nighttime)

but i dont think it's supposed to make me so TIRED all the time :c like ppl got good sleep even when they were doing first and second sleeps, surely

ya but when u can't get enough u can nap it. even if you don't even lose consciousness you'll enter first stage with eyes closed and not fixating on thoughts or being bored (podcasts/audiobooks help here sometimes with the sleep timer)

im in a similar situation as ur friend in that i usu go to bed around 4 in the morning and wake up after getting like, 6 or 7 hours of sleep?, but i hadnt considered that for as much as it feels like my sleep schedule is fucked up its at least solid sleep the entire time

not that it doesnt still suck trying to adhere to less disordered standards for when ppl are expected to be awake but yknow

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