like its bad enough that i only have 3 in-person friends and thats gonna be down to 2 soon and i can't make more because pandemic because no vaccine that actually does anything because long covid because autism because masks im so lonely im so lonely im so lonely and also the world is evil and hostile and full of traumatizing horrible stuff
im alone in my head dealing with all these feelings and trauma and i don't need myself to be adding to the hostile atmosphere. i dont need the only being i am 100% constantly in the presence of to be so cruel to me on top of the world
but it seems so hard to be nice to myself. unatainable. i feel so alone and it hurts
