squircular reasoning

It's very sad and frustrating. It seems like maybe all vaccines have always had been holes in them like this, just no other virus has really been quite so incredibly prominent that a 95% reduction in infection and severity still leaves a really really huge 5% possibility + all the mutation. Like flu shots I guess have been like this too but the flu isn't this extreme.

The NovaVax vaccine is a new one that is supposedly better but I think it's not so much that the vaccines we got were worse so much as maybe we all had a really overly inflated sense of how amazing vaccines are in the face of a global pandemic with a rapidly mutating virus that evades natural immunity.

fucking suuuucckksssssss I miss 2019 so bad

i feel this so much. :( simple things like being able to have people over and make tea for them and/or shoot the shit and just enjoy each other's company have now turned into these stupid high-stakes dice rolls that take them entirely off the table

we feel this too. we don't dwell on it, because we cannot dwell on it. for our own safety. but we share all these feelings. very much so.

we can understand why someone would take these feelings and give up and just stop caring, roll the dice on whether they get hit or not. we know people who have. some have regretted it, some have rolled lucky. we're not willing to roll those dice, because revisiting the depths of deep disability we were dug in during those years... we'd rather end up back there for other reasons.

we're not sure that a version of us who hadn't experienced that already would be making the decisions we are now. maybe they'd be rolling the dice too.

a component of the equation is always the danger of the loneliness itself. loneliness can be just as fatal as any virus... it's such a difficult calculus to make under the current conditions. it's why going to events in a p100 is an acceptable affordance, for us. but many of us are friends of loneliness, such a presence its had in our life going back decades... we're built better for it than most, i suspect. truthfully we'd hardly had a taste of anything other than loneliness, little morsels here and there, before the pandemic happened. the one who fed most on social life i think withered from that. but not all of us.

ah well. this comment seems much its own thought stream now, fallen down an unrelated path from your own. <3

i never even got to do gender stuff or little stuff with other ppl irl cause i only got to discover my true self in like 2020-2021, so basically right after the world ended,, so i feel this in my core Constantly hhhh