forever covid has me feeling even more like a fae anthropologist studying the humans at a distance than the autism already made me.
i love reading about communal eating, communal music, communal religion, communal ritual, communal gatherings, communal gaming, communal anything, but now more than ever i feel Outside of it all, unable to ever actually really be on the Inside
a scene in a hdg fic i read where 6 or so people were gathered together in someones house cooking and eating soup together being a big raucus gay found family makes me unable to stop crying
a similar scene in prayer for the crown-shy also did this to me
scenes depicting any kind of large gay happy chosen family eating together are like the peak of self indulgent fantasy for me
i miss it so bad
