had a realization in the last few days that even though i don't fit the supposed stereotype of an autistic who operates like clockwork, doing the exact same things every day at the same time in a stringent and carefully planned routine (and really i doubt that most autistics fulfill that stereotype)
nonetheless i do actually Have a routine, or rather, a sense of routineness. i live my life in a temporally loose but predictable manner where the same sorts of things happen, sometimes every day but not necessarily every single day but every other day, every few days.
and when something violates that routine, like abnormal weather that prevents me from going outside much, or being made to isolate from friend, or travel, or absence of nesting partner, or a bad-yet-addictive habit like watching autorecommended youtube swallows up my usual routine as a corporation preys on my neurodivergence, it really throws me off and sends my mental state into chaos and frustration and misery.
