spiders

daydreams, imaginary friends

traitorous fifth column secret fae here to tear apart the human world floorboard by floorboard with my teeth

we are always learning things about the world, and so excited to share them with you

see @iliana for our good posts


we've dug ourselves into such a stupid metabolic hole thx to autism and adhd and chronic pain+fatigue, and escape feels impossible. the worse things get, the worse things get.

the more malnourished we get, the less energy we have to make healthy food, the less food options we have, the more autistic burnout on the remaining limited food options, the less varied our diet gets, the more malnourished we get, and so on

and we shit you not, the only actionable responses our doctor had to this besides the nebulous "eat healthier" was "have you tried Hello Fresh? it's a meal kit delivery service that makes eating healthy at home [...]", and suggesting we get an "autism coach", whatever the fuck that is

we are genuinely at a loss for what to even do at this point


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in reply to @spiders's post:

what the fuck is with your doctor holy shit, hugs friend

and. i get stuck in a similar situation quite often (as you know), though i dont think ive ever clawed my way out of having unhealthy foods...

we usually get our food intake back up or at least make sure something gets in us by relying on fast foods, restaurants (which aren't possible right now sadly) and other junk foods (this is actually what our doctor recommended also, she was like "when you struggle to eat other things, ice cream is fine")

basically like. if it's something novel, something you know you can eat, and it takes minimal preparation on your part, it's probably going to give you a boost, and make the other foods easier to stomach for a bit, in my experience; though I would stay away from trying to eat anything too flavorful when you're at total rock bottom.

this happened to me when I was a kid, to the point that cps got involved to make sure it wasn't external, so I fucking feel this post. I can impart some of what worked for me during that + my bouts of anorexia if you would like? also have you spoken to a nutritionist? I really suggest having your doctor link you to an eating disorder competent nutritionist, they're trained to help people through the problem solving needed to find a solution

I'm sorry, that happened to me a few years ago and it really sucks. Many of the things that ended up being helpful for me are things people already mentioned (unhealthy food is much better than no food, takeout, multivitamins). I had a subscription of Soylent sent to my apartment every month, and that did a lot for me. I'd feel pretty bad if I had nothing but Soylent in a day, but if I had two or three of them, that cut the calories I needed to get from "real food" roughly in half, which made it a lot more attainable. And due to it being mild-tasting and easy to chug down, I could handle it even when sensory issues were making most food too hard to eat. Other meal replacement shakes could probably play a similar role.

Spironolactone can complicate things, if you happen to be on that, because it messes with your sodium levels. Sometimes when I managed to find some energy and eat "healthy" for a day or two, I would start feeling really bad, I think because I wasn't getting enough salt. And then I would fall right back into the rut I was in before. I didn't really solve that until I was doing generally a fair amount better, but the solution I ended up going with was: When I felt physically bad in a way that was hard to identify, I would put a bit of table salt on my tongue. If it tasted really good, I would have a salty snack and that would usually improve things.

This one might not be very actionable, but something that helped me a lot was living with another person and sharing meals with them. When I didn't have the energy to make things, they could do so, and it was a lot easier for me to find energy for cooking when it wasn't just for me.

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