No, I don't want to blindly choose a template that has "integrations for apps" (can't see the apps ahead of choice; no detail what the apps are).
I want something that lets me host an art gallery, that allows individual pieces to use tags, and those tags automatically make sub-galleries. Beyond that it needs to allow captions and a link to my email address. That's TRULY it.
Somehow this is beyond the grasp of everything out there.