spookydust

well, uh... this turned out longer than i had intended.

i was in the crowd for CM Punk's last weekly televised appearance for WWE. January 21, 2014, the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, MI. looking back, the card was... bad. we watched Brodus Clay (aka Tyrus), Cameron, and Ryback matches that night. but we were there for one person. Punk had a 3-on-1 dark match¹ against The Shield and cut a promo for what would be his last match with WWE - that weekend's Royal Rumble.

Punk did not win the Royal Rumble. Batista did. now, Batista is great. i fuckin' love me some Dave Bautista. but you have to understand that in 2014 Batista had just returned after a 4 year hiatus, completely transparently back in a ring and being pushed to co-promote the upcoming first Guardians of the Galaxy movie. this did not make people happy. this, among a host of other issues with WWE's frankly horrific health and labor practices, meant the 2014 Royal Rumble would be CM Punk's last match in WWE and his last pro wrestling match for 7 years.

Punk had threatened to walk before. in 2011 Punk was the number-one contender for the top championship, but he wasn't the Top Guy. he had started feuding not only with ur-babyface and WWE icon John Cena, but also with WWE management. this wasn't the first time the lines of fiction and reality had been blurred in this way, Stone Cold Steve Austin famously feuded with Mr. McMahon in the Attitude Era², but it was maybe the first time it felt so real. this culminated in arguably Punk's most famous work, and maybe the most famous wrestling promo of all time, the "pipe bomb."

you see Punk was, well, a punk. he was already a well known quantity and commanded a not-insignificant fanbase when he arrived in WWE. Punk had done legendary work on the indies, most notably in Ring of Honor, and it was easier than ever to not only talk about that work but see it for yourself on the internet. Punk was an indie darling, a straightedge outcast³ in notoriously drug-and-booze-filled pro wrestling locker rooms, and he wasn't a pumped-up bodybuilder - he looked more like you and me. he was a "real wrestler" and John Cena was at the peak of his "five moves of doom" superhero fakeness.

June 27, 2011. Punk interferes in a match between John Cena and R Truth, causing Cena to be driven through a table and lose. as Cena lays in the ring in agony, Punk grabs a microphone, walks up the ramp, and plops down criss-cross-applesauce on the stage. he then (wearing a Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt) delivers a searing six-minute promo in which he runs down not only Cena, but also The Rock⁴, Vince McMahon, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, and even the fans in attendance. he threatens to win the title and leave WWE, taking it to NJPW or ROH, and as he begins to tell a "personal story about Vince McMahon," the mic in the arena cuts out, presumably from Vince pulling the plug backstage.

i have friends that grew up with wrestling, but this promo is why i'm a wrestling fan. this promo is why the pro wrestling subreddit exists⁵. this promo is why one of my friends was wearing a CM Punk shirt that night in 2014 and this promo is why we were in the arena to begin with. it's hard to overstate the impact CM Punk had on a certain generation of wrestling fan. in the 2010s i was a disaffected twentysomething who had jumped through every hoop i was told would lead me to a good and happy life only to realize it was all a lie. intelligence, talent, skill, work ethic, none of it meant anything. it was who you know. it was how well you fit in a box. it was how well you could gladhand and kiss ass. it was who your parents are and where you come from. there were a lot of people who saw themselves in CM Punk and a lot of people who saw everything we were up against in squeaky-clean, troop-loving, hustle-loyalty-respect John Cena.

he didn't leave in 2011, obviously. we saw him live three years later. it was a "worked shoot," a delightfully oxymoronic but perfectly cogent wrestling term for taking real life issues (shoot) and making them into a story (work). if you want a more in depth look at something related to this idea, Super Eyepatch Wolf just put out an excellent video about Roman Reigns and the Bloodline that i highly recommend, even as someone who is not a regular WWE watcher these days. this "unreality," as Super Eyepatch Wolf puts it, is kind of CM Punk's whole deal. before the pipe bomb, Punk signed his WWE contract on the ROH belt before leaving, and before that he had made a name for himself for playing with crowd expectations. so when Punk left for real in 2014 there was a lot of speculation.

after a bombshell interview on his erstwhile friend Colt Cabana's podcast (which led to defamation lawsuits from WWE doctors) it was clear Punk was gone for good. he popped up again for two embarrassing UFC fights and a short stint on a WWE talk show but for 7 years he was mostly out of the public eye. talk had faded about him ever returning to a pro wrestling ring. it seemed The Man had finally run our hero out of town.

the work was now a shoot.

in 2019 All Elite Wrestling was founded and for the first time in decades it looked like there might be a viable alternative to WWE's monopolistic control of pro wrestling in the United States. Tony Khan, a young heir to a billion-dollar car parts company who grew up watching WWE alternatives WCW and ECW, and a group of wrestlers who'd made names for themselves outside of WWE in the indies and Japan⁶ came together to try to change the landscape of pro wrestling. with such a sea change, maybe we might see that old hero we loved so much again.

on August 13, 2021 AEW added a new weekly television show. in addition to their live Dynamite show on Wednesdays, they would now have a shorter, taped show airing Friday nights called Rampage. the second episode of Rampage was aired live, from the United Center in Chicago (CM Punk's home town) and carried the special moniker "The First Dance." when the show started, the crowd was already chanting his name. it was the worst kept secret in pro wrestling. the ovation was deafening. it was electric. it was magical. it was the highest of highs in this artform. my friend who'd been watching since he was a kid attended live, so did the friend who was wearing the CM Punk shirt back in 2014. i watched at home and legitimately cried seeing CM Punk back in professional wrestling. he was Our Guy and now he was going to get the respect he deserved.

i had, we all had, developed new favorites in the 7 years since though. a lot of people, myself included, fell out of American wrestling for a while or stopped watching wrestling altogether. AEW had a new hero, one who those now thirtysomethings who idolized Punk ten years prior could relate to: the Anxious Millennial Cowboy, Hangman Adam Page. whereas Punk had channeled the anger of the post-recession 2010s, Page was kind and insecure and had an all-too-familiar drinking problem. Punk believed in himself and fought for his spot. Hangman had all the talent and charisma but couldn't get over feeling like an imposter.

and this is where the lines start to blur again. in November of 2021, Hangman Adam Page finally overcame his self doubt and won the AEW World Championship from his former friend and mentor, then rival, Kenny Omega. this was, by all accounts, the plan from the beginning. The Elite had executed a storyline spanning over 3 years that had gotten their friend into main event stardom. Hangman was the biggest babyface in AEW. the only question was "now what?"

Punk had been putting on great matches with younger talent, his stated goal when he came back to wrestling, but other wrestlers were starting to cry foul. Punk had come into the company all shiny and happy and it started to seem like it was a mask he was wearing. people who Punk had wronged in the past like Eddie Kingston started coming out of the woodwork and cutting promos saying the locker room hated Punk and nobody wanted him there. it felt like maybe Punk was headed for a heel turn. i remember saying at the time that Punk having to confront all the skeletons in his closet would make for captivating TV, and could lead to a very interesting heel character. what better foil than Adam Page, a man who had made his name in Japan but who many thought of as AEW's first home-grown champion?

Punk was still a babyface, but he was becoming more arrogant and petty. Hangman struggled with the pressure of the belt and tried to remain a moral paragon as he was tempted to use more underhanded and violent tactics to retain the title. as Punk and Hangman feuded crowds didn't know who to boo and who to cheer, the dynamic changing between crowds and sometimes in the same promo. rumors had also started circling that the backstage environment in AEW had taken a nosedive with veterans like Punk accusing younger wrestlers like Page of not taking advice and reports of cliques forming around Punk and The Elite. the most notable accusation of the bunch was that Punk had gotten his former friend Colt Cabana fired from AEW or moved to ROH. this is likely untrue, but Cabana and Page are close friends and real life intruded on fiction again live on TV.

ahead of their title match, Punk and Page had a live in-ring face-to-face as is tradition. in this promo Page reportedly went off script including a line about how Punk only pretends to care about worker's rights, a reference to Cabana's alleged sidelining. for most people it went unnoticed in the larger promo, some others thought it was odd, but at the time it was kind of a throwaway. but not to Punk. Punk would later go off script in a promo of his own, calling out Hangman as a coward. usually in pro wrestling when you call someone a coward, you're inviting a scripted ass-beating. Hangman had no opportunity to retort.

Punk won the title from Page at the next pay-per-view. 2022 would be the Summer of Punk that never was in WWE. during the match, he attempted Hangman Page's signature move, the Buckshot Lariat, twice and failed to do it both times. shortly after, Punk would reveal he was injured and shortly after that Jon Moxley would become the Interim AEW World Champion in a victory over NJPW legend Hiroshi Tanahashi at the first Forbidden Door pay-per-view. a spot and a match that would have been Punk's.

meanwhile, the locker room was reportedly still imploding. Triple H had taken over more creative duties at WWE and was allegedly telling former WWE wrestlers to try to get out of their contracts however they could. the Punk/Elite divide seemed more apparent and more real than ever. months passed as Punk recovered from his injury and it was the Summer of Mox, with Jon Moxley being a dominant, fighting Interim Champion and seeing his already significant star rise even more in AEW. Jon Moxley was The Guy.

remember The Shield? the young up-and-comers Punk was putting over on his way out of WWE in 2014? in 2014, Jon Moxley was Dean Ambrose, The Shield's mouthpiece and "lunatic fringe." once again, Punk took a backseat.

maybe it's not that deep. maybe i'm reading too much into it. we'll never know and that's why this is so fascinating to so many, but what happened upon Punk's return from injury once again was the biggest news in pro wrestling. what seems clear is that Mox wanted to legitimize his title run. the Interim tag was a big asterisk on an incredible run with the belt. he needed a win over Punk and after an abbreviated program in August of 2022, Mox did just that on a Wednesday night Dynamite. Mox held the belt for another month until he was set to face Punk again at All Out. Punk won that match and regained the title after a rousing speech from his friend and mentor Ace Steel⁷.

the whole thing was... weird. it felt like months of story crammed into just a few weeks. supposedly the pitch had been Rocky III with Punk getting beaten by the overwhelming violence of Mox and then picking himself up and overcoming. Punk claims Mox and Khan pressured him to wrestle while still injured to give Mox his win and his refusal to work hurt compressed the timeline. whatever the truth of the matter, it ultimately wasn't meant to be. at All Out 2022 in the match where he regained the title, Punk once again sustained an injury, and this time it was worse.

AEW does press conferences after pay-per-views that stream live on YouTube. you can watch what happened next. Punk, bloody and irate, chomping on muffins, goes off the rails immediately. he talks about his former friend Scott Colton (real name of wrestler Colt Cabana) and the accusations he got him fired. he then proceeds to run down AEW and The Elite, most notably calling Adam Page an "emptyheaded dumbfuck" and saying The Elite "couldn't manage a Target." he says "i'm old, i'm tired, and i work with fucking children." for his part, Tony Khan, owner of the company, looks shocked and blindsided and completely freezes. just as Punk's anti-WWE management promo became known as the "pipe bomb," this media scrum became known as the "gripe bomb."

that wasn't all though. after returning to his locker room, a fight broke out. the details are scarce, but the general outline is that The Elite, supposedly with AEW's chief legal council, went to confront Punk. punches were thrown, and Ace Steel allegedly threw a chair at Nick Jackson and bit Kenny Omega.

but what was real? this is pro wrestling after all. Punk has a known reputation for being prickly and paranoid and quick to lash out at slights either real or perceived. others had taken Punk to task for his sins in approved promos. this was part of his character at this point. in their feud, MJF even referenced what is probably Punk's other most famous promo⁸, echoing the man's own words: "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making people believe he didn't exist," or more simply put: "You stupid old man, I'm a snake." AEW had been intentionally blurring the lines around kayfabe, so the speculation returned: was Punk going to walk out again? if he wasn't, would he even be allowed back? was the gripe bomb a work? did "Brawl Out," as it came to be known, even happen?

lots of fans turned on Punk. i'll admit i'm one of them. Punk didn't feel like a man raging against the machine anymore. Punk felt like an entitled old timer demanding people he thought of as his inferiors kiss his boots. Punk was no longer punk. he was given everything and it still wasn't enough. more recently, Punk has made comments about being "afraid" to work the match against Hangman, threatening Page's reputation in a real way and he has continued to use his social media presence to stir the pot.

Punk and The Elite were stripped of their titles (the AEW World Championship and Trios titles, respectively) and Punk's name was not said on television for months. it felt more and more certain that Brawl Out was a shoot and Punk was gone again. but then something started happening. people started talking about Punk on TV again, not directly, but in ways that if you knew the lore you could pick up on. MJF (AEW's young ace, arch-heel, and current World Champion) in particular became fond of calling himself the Best in the World⁹, outright calling himself "The Devil," and even cutting a particularly confrontational promo while horking down pickles at a post-PPV media scrum which played as a funhouse mirror vision of the gripe bomb.

CM Punk was coming back.

on May 17, 2023, AEW announced a new weekly show on Saturdays called Collision, which would feature popular talent that hadn't found a place in the Dynamite milieu. many of these performers were people who had been suspected of being in the CM Punk camp backstage. shortly after, it was announced that the first episode would air on June 17, from the United Center in Chicago. when they announced he would be there, the commercials called it "The Second Coming of CM Punk."¹⁰

10 months after Brawl Out the first episode of Collision began with Punk's theme music, "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour, and raucous cheers. Punk stood in the ring, his head notably close-shaven - a classic Punk heel look, removed the AEW-branded mic flag, and began with "I don't know if you guys heard... but I'm tired of being nice."

he was always going to get cheered in Chicago. he could have gone out and taken a shit in the ring and gotten cheered in Chicago. for everyone else, he cut a promo that deftly rode the line right down the middle. he even trots out a riff on an old John Cena staple and says "Boo me, cheer me, love me, hate me [...] call me whatever you want." if you're inclined to boo him, you can latch onto his arrogance or his unapologetic references to Brawl Out and unvarnished shots at The Elite. if you're inclined to cheer him, you can read into his references to conniving and backstabbing and politicking or just enjoy his genuine enthusiasm to be back in the ring.

i don't think i would like Phil Brooks the person. i don't know if i still like CM Punk the pro wrestler. i don't know if any of the reasons i have doubts about those things are true. what i do know is i'm eager to see if 2023 is finally the Summer of Punk, or if he finally ends up burning his last bridges.

and that's the story. the shoot once again becomes a work.

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1. in wrestling parlance, a non-televised bonus just for the live crowd

2. and i'm sure it had been done elsewhere before

3. the source of inspiration for an earlier heel faction led by Punk, the Straight Edge Society

4. referring to him condescendingly by his real name, Dwayne

5. for better or for worse

6. most notably The Elite, a faction consisting of Kenny Omega, Hangman Adam Page, and The Young Bucks, Matt and Nick Jackson

7. remember this, kids! it's a surprise tool we'll use later

8. apparently now unavailable to view online due to a WWE copyright claim, even though it happened in ROH

9. a longtime CM Punk moniker

10. seriously.