she hasn't trusted anybody in what feels like an eternity. none of her normal friends believe her at all, so she doesn't even bother trying to tell them anything anymore, and the cat-creature that gave her her powers left shortly afterwards, muttering something about "not being paid enough for this shit anymore". she's never met another magical girl and is scared she's the only one in existence. only her journal, written in a substitution alphabet of her own devising, holds her feelings and her secrets. she came up with the code during a brief psych ward imprisonment caused by her dad finding and reading the previous iteration of her journal. even though that was years ago and she no longer lives with her parents, she still fears that happening again.

"nobody will ever truly know me" she writes, tears dripping onto the pages of the journal. she lets go of her pen, leans back in the chair, and closes her eyes, tears still rolling down her cheeks. something needs to change, but she doesn't know what. she needs to talk to someone, but she can't. she is an emotional pressure cooker, and this ciphered journal is her only relief valve.