Opening a formal letter, on municipal letterhead, sent to me via the county. It reads:

YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED
Please report to city center on the designated date
You will be selected from a pool of your peers to hold hands with a cute girl
Remember that this is your civic responsibility

"Ah," I say, nodding.

"Yuri Duty."

"Uhh is it technically Yuri Duty if I'm a guy?"

"Oh wait there's a second envelope in here. Weirdly tingly, too."