ssijoko

cryptídea


23, Letras PT-JP, trans bi gal who's also a war vessel piloted by small animals, gay as hell

PT-BR/ENG
discord: ssijoko#0170
birdsite/tumblr: @ssijoko (bird site's mostly in portuguese tho)


queerercaora
@queerercaora

No but like. Okay I'm thinking about SLARPG too much to actually make a post thats like, "I finished SLARPG! I thought it was good!" because it just kind of hit enough psychic mass in my head to have its own event horizon. Like I came out of the elongated finish the game session like "aw, that was a solid 8/10", if i analysed it any more that evening it was mostly to say "it did thing x which was like when indie rpg y also did that first" to almost reaffirm its just-an-8/10-ittude. So I went to bed maaaybe planning a full review post.

And then I woke up tomorrow and just started breaking into tears at random parts of the day and ive been listening to basically nothing but the soundtrack since then. lol???

I havent like, done fandom in a while, or really since I was a kid, since my Teen Internet Thing was that wormhole of rationalist fiction i vague(?) about. As a personality I've developed a sort of funky octopus camouflage where I make myself - and honestly increasingly my voice in fiction - mimic the Post-Homestuck side of the internet all around me to get by. all that to say - i basically like autistically mask a lot of my actual interests lol.¹

anyway I think i've hit like. the threshold where i actually want to write a slarpg fic. I know that doesn't actually sound like much, but I dont know how to do this, im a fucking baby, i'm fucking small.² I'm having a lot of neurodivergent brain slime that could make for Good Posts but i dont know what im doing. i dont know how to post. the hardest thing for a Poster to admit is when she doesn't know how to Post this is like my 9/11


1 | Like I'm mostly rediscovering fandom now, mostly by getting disappointed and burnt so hard by the above i've started to allow myself to just be a weird little hater. And even then I dont think im that good at being a weird little hater!
in slarpg 2 i think melody should be allowed to kill someone and not even feel bad about it despite everyone expecting her to. i think that would be fun
2 | I considered a TMA/Control fic at one point, mostly because i was surprised one didn't exist and wanted to do it Right, with minimal shoehorning, but honestly that was increasingly just a vessel for New Weird characters and world concepts I already had in my head, once I drifted further and further from really giving TMA that much credit in my head for being special. I still think the plot I have outlined is broadly a pretty interesting take, but it would be a big commitment to see it through, and, like. If I'm committing to writing a series in a genre I want to do stuff in, and bringing in a lot of original world-building i built to spec, why not just Write My Own Thing?

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