this isnāt some like, anti-āstranger dangerā thing. itās a little more like
admittedly, for this to go consistently well, you've gotta be decent at reading people ā know when they're disinterested, they want to leave, you need to drop the topic, all that. helps to know how to drive the conversation too; can you wind things down in a way that isn't too abrupt? drag it toward what you're interested in, or away from what you're not?
and, a big plus: have a guess how you can get better at each and every one of these things
chat to strangers!
people are interesting, and you can talk to them. anything from letting someone know their shoelace is undone to jumping into full just-like-we're-old-friends conversation; it's fun, and if you're anything like me, either could be the highlight of your day.
you: ok why are you saying this now though
first off, rude. this is just one of my personal beliefs. but
i was at the train station! and there's a type of train you never see here, just parked up!! so i performed the default action of any female born after 1993 and took some photos of it sitting there, and some videos of it starting to pull away. but as it (confusingly) pulled back in, i realised,,,,
so i did! strolled up to the tail end of the train, chatted to someone also hanging out down there that seemed to be a railfan, and when the guard popped out of the cab, i threw out a
hey, how much can you tell us about what y'all are up to?
the initial response, well... if this was an rpg (idk i've never played one) you'd assume i'd screwed up hard.
what do you mean?
but i knew what i meant, so
you just don't see these trains out here that often!
the floodgates open
i got a lovely infodump about the network, about scheduling, about why these trains are rare out here. learned some terminology i didn't know. and after all that, got to thank them for the chat as they dangled out of the open door of the now departing train cab.
i'd like to think we both walked away happy.
best tip I have to add to the above: get off-script as much as possible. if youāre talking to a person at a party or whatever, āwhat do you do?ā gets you the answer theyāve given a hundred times to a hundred strangers in conversations that mostly went nowhere. āwhat do you do thatās not work?ā is a less common question that makes people think for a second, and usually gets you a way more interesting answer too. āhow are youā will get you a nothing, a default, but even a slight variation on that like a āhowās lifeā or a āhowāve you beenāāsomething that sounds more like what theyād hear from a friend than from a stranger following the scriptāwill give you a better chance of hearing something real.
it does take effort, but it can be so, so worth it. people are interesting! thereās something in literally everyoneās lifeāsomething theyāve done, something theyāve seen, something they know about the worldāthat they could tell you cool things about, and if you take the time to talk to them then sometimes you will find it.
i'm serious. if you manage to single out the topic that someone knows a lot about - and it doesn't even have to be their life's calling or special interest: just something a person is knowledgeable about - and show interest in it, they will just keep talking and talking and talking and talking and you'll probably make at least a new acquaintance if not a new friend.
people are hardwired to want to share knowledge. yes, we can be cynical and say "it's because they want to assess their superiority" or "it's because they want to be admired," but the truth is it's just fun. it's fun to talk about the things you learned or the things you can do with other people, it's fun to have someone listen to you! you don't even have to be good at casual chat, all you need to do is just want to listen
attached: a pic of a graffiti artist i stumbled upon today as i was getting back from a bike ride, who told me all about beefs in the city's scene and what the best places for throwups are
