stosb

wearer of programming socks

  • she/her

mid 20s | bisexual | programmer | european


profile pic: a picrew by Shirazu Yomi
picrew.me/en/image_maker/207297
i use arch btw
xenia the linux fox -> 🦊🏳️‍⚧️
the moon
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chaoticevilspacewitch
@chaoticevilspacewitch

This is such an important idea to me. I might have transitioned much earlier if I didn't think you had to be traumatized by your body and gender in order to be valid in doing so.


Unambiguous-Robin
@Unambiguous-Robin

There's so much I want to say about this, which all basically boils down to "this is correct". That transitioning isn't (just) about removing painful stuff from your life, it's about seeking what brings new joy and light into your life.

I want to talk about why this idea isn't more widely understood. But I just wrote two long-ass posts about serious topics today already, so instead I'll just try to break it down into bullet points:

  • The liberal assumption that any fundamental change is frightening and undesirable by default.
  • An associated sunk cost fallacy that is more focused on the social and cultural connections you might lose from transitioning, instead of focusing on all the social and cultural connections you might never get a chance to gain unless you transition (and not being aware that those older connections may never have been genuine if you weren't bringing your real self into it in the first place).
  • A certain type of feminism that has sought cultural and political change based on the premise that being a woman sucks and is not something anyone would find inherently desirable in itself. (Also just general sexism following that same premise.)

NireBryce
@NireBryce

the other thing is that, I'm willing to bet a good number of people are like me, where it only makes sense as gender dysphoria when you can compare it to it's absence, because otherwise that's Just Your Normal. Like asking a fish to describe the taste of water.


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in reply to @chaoticevilspacewitch's post:

I saw some people I knew and other trans people online and always thought "well I'm not in some agonizing mental pain about my junk so I guess I'm not." Took having my own apartment/solitude and room to listen to myself.

if someone would have told me you could get a sweet pair of jugs from just taking pills (i'm a flavor of intersex so E hit me like a truck) i woulda been on that shit 20 years ago

in reply to @Unambiguous-Robin's post:

It's also the weird, like... "You have to suffer to deserve change" type mentality that affects society as a whole. If you don't look poor, look disabled, look dysphoric, you don't deserve to have things change for you. You don't deserve help or improvements to your life.

in reply to @NireBryce's post: