So, there's a religious tradition in Russia, called, well, "Forgiveness Sunday", it was yesterday. It has some meaning in orthodox christianity, it's like a day before some great fasting or smth like that, but most religious people pick and choose what traditions to follow, so people don't fast but they ask each other for forgiveness on this day.
So, yesterday, I, an atheist, was woken up by my mom calling and asking to forgive her "for everything". I was too sleepy to answer anything besides "Yeah yeah", but now, thinking of it, I should've acted differently. I should've asked her, for what exactly does she apologize. And what would she do to prevent this in the future. Knowing my mother, she does not know what she does wrong, she does not see abuse coming from her as abuse, she cannot comprehend why wouldn't I want to talk to them. So, coming from her, this "forgive me for everything" feels incredibly hollow, she doesn't even think about what's wrong, she just knows I'm upset with them for some reason, and feels that this day is a reason to apologize. She never tries to act like she did something wrong outside of this day btw, or when I threaten to stop talking to them. And I know that this will continue, no matter how much they say "no, come over, everything will be ok" and then hit me with transphobic bingo, besides other bullshit