I wish I could afford nice things. Or treat myself to something. I don't invest in hobbies or upgrade any equipment. My clothes are tearing and it's making me feel dysphoric. Meds cost so much and I've been prescribed more for my migraines and low vitamin levels. I wish I could be looked after some days. My parents never really did.
Life doesn't feel designed for someone like me. I'm anxious and "absent minded" I panic, I can't concentrate. I look for full time work and get no where. I get casual work and don't get shifts. My gender gets in the way but I'm never going back to how I was before. It's going to be another 50 dollars for hrt, another 300 or so for rent but what's there left for food? Or for fun? I'm told I need to eat better but nothing is affordable. I'm not good at this life thing. I'm not good at struggling I'm on the brink of collapse. From physically having so many migraines that make me immobile to being exhausted from trying so hard and having a panic attack or depressive episode.
My parents don't care about me. My dad is very much against who I am.