Behold: A Flashlight. The Acebeam X75.
Starts at $400. Produces 80,000 lumens. This is advertised as equivalent to 25 pairs of car headlights on high beams. It is also (not sure I got this right) brighter than the Sun at noon on the equator.
It has a built-in cooling fan, but also claims to be waterproof to two meters. It runs off four laptop batteries. It weighs 1.24 kilograms. The maximum "throw" of its beam is over a kilometer. In use, it heats up to 75ยฐC (65ยฐC in "eco" mode). There is a safety lock on the "on" switch.
Like an Irish elk, its antlers so perfectly adapted for its niche, so impossibly overspecialized as to serve no purpose whatsoever, it wanders the forests of Flashlight Guys and browses upon their desire to take exactly one picture shining it across a lake and then never use it again because every other use case is an arrestable offense.
