congratulations on your lifetime panera bread pass or whatever, but i'm afraid this is only available at participating restaurants and requires you return to our corporate headquarters to sign again biweekly. and if we catch you at schlotzsky's you're a dead motherfucker
"lifetime subscriptions" are an investment con that can only ever be as successful as a subscription-model based company can hope to be: as good as people are willing to pay monthly for, so you're hardly the priority. it's a short-term money making trick disguised as future savings.
with your lifetime membership, you can access every video on our Streaming Service as soon as they launch. however, what if you want to see videos before they launch? well, with Streaming Service Silver, the new higher-tier subscription package, you can see videos several days early without ads!
three years later, Basic Streaming Service is being sunset to focus development on a single, feature-rich package in Streaming Service Silver, which sadly means lifetime subscriptions to Basic Streaming Service are being depreciated. sorry!
that's how you do it: redefine what the "subscription" allows to write out people who coughed up for the pass with an understanding that they'll never need to pay again. "lifetime" assumes the business will be around in its current form for the rest of your life; why would they when changing means they get your money and don't have to provide you unlimited service?
it doesn't matter if they lose your business, you weren't giving them more money anyways!
so, claim your free combo meal every day for the rest of your life from pizza hut, before they stop selling that particular combination of bread cheese and sauce. listen to unlimited free music until the new Stations feature means all you're getting is a standard broadcast feed with fewer in-line ads. enjoy your lifetime supply of free games, until the several hundred dollars you paid to get in dries up; be a good cash-flow and enjoy these premium unlocks in F2P games.
watch as they build a new panera juuuust across city lines where your "lifetime" pass is, unfortunately, non-valid. would you like to buy another one?
