i also realized why the whole "girl who is depressed broken and traumatized and lashes out violently and in harmful ways at the world being saved and helped by a cheerful, happy girl" is an easier trope for me to swallow than "boy who is depressed broken and traumatized and lashes out violently and in harmful ways at the world being saved and helped by a cheerful, happy girl":
1.) in the former type of stories, the cheerful girl is usually established as a person with interiority. these types of stories are usually magical girl stories or stories otherwise focused at the female demographic, and usually have a heavy focus on the cheerful, clumsy, and otherwise "normal" female character before the darker, more brooding female character comes in. the cheerful female character in these stories is a person, not a plot device: they are given personality traits, even those seemingly contrary to their base/outward personalities, hobbies, interests, and flaws. in the latter type of stories, the male character who is depressed broken and traumatized is given the entire focus of the story and the cheerful girl isn't established as a person with personality traits, hobbies, interests, and yes, flaws, but rather an angel who is expected to save this man.
2.) in addition, the depressed, broken, or traumatized girl is usually given equal focus as the cheerful girl, and doesn't seem to imply that being broken, depressed, traumatized or angsty in a more "typical" way makes you superior/more intelligent than those who hide their trauma through happiness or are genuinely happy despite trauma. meanwhile, the media that focuses on the depressed, traumatized, or broken boy basically posits that they're "deeper" for this trauma and thus "better" than the girl being perceived as having no trauma at all.
3.) i don't know if i have enough research into this but it feels like while the female version is genuinely a woman empowerment thing or even a gay/gay coded thing, the male and female version is nonreciprocal and feels like an incel thing tbh. like. the incel fantasy of wanting a woman without any complications to come in and "save" you from your trauma.