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really thinking about how this year was simultaneously my busiest and also my worst performing in regards to art. mostly just because of cons being back in full swing and just. patreon taking over my life as a full time second job. i wish i could make it a full time first job but my dayjob is too secure and good to get rid of. thinking far into the future if i were to get rid of it now, id be so lost and broke.

my time management has gotten worse it feels. so many months ive been behind on comms and taking way longer on them, and on my own work. its the middle of october and i have only 5 calendar pictures done out of the at least 12 i need to make it. im disappointed in myself.

i think ive grown a lot as an artist and my work has continued to improve, but my management of it hasnt at all. and its been weighin me down for a while, esp as other things slip, like my weight. ive steadily regained weight from the past few years lately. im still regularly working out with good enough effort, but my diet sucks bc im thinking about time and dont wanna think about what im eating.

i should probably look into therapy to help with this time management and such but i feel like itll make things worst bc it'll be another thing taking away from my time. to draw.

im not sure. i just wish i was more financially stable to quit my day job and freelance. ive never done well with two jobs but one is actually my passion. but with this dogshit economy and everything else, even if i take more comms, it might just make things worse.

i just wanna draw my cute silly anime girls in peace without thinking about work or thinking about money.