Yesterday: "Man, I really want to write a story about racers, racing, and cars." (<= has the writing skills to do that)
Today: "you know what would be really fucking awesome? if I made a car themed gacha game, I'd make it so every girl-car has eye makeup or glasses that matches the headlights, and lord help me I will make every Miata CUTE" (<= doesn't have the art skills to do that)
conversation extracts:
B (describing how Impala and Corvette talking to each other would be like):
Impala: "Wouldn't you be a bit warmer if you wore a shirt or something under that, sis?"
Corvette: "Fuck you, I'm sexy."
A: I wonder what personality a Corolla would have.
B: Corolla is the boring but reliable low rank unit that everyone has and keeps using until they're surprisingly high level.
Me: Eager to please, never taken seriously
Will get the job done, never gets thanked for it
meanwhile Matra Bagheera receives endless praise when she doesn't break down for 10 miles in a row.
Corolla will see that and she'll be like
"PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW MATRA ANYMORE"
"WHY IS SHE GETTING ALL THE ATTENTION"
A: Shitty idea: Car size = Breast size. All motorcycles are flat chested.
Me: displacement equals boob size. I'm sorry, RX7 fans, but your girl is flat and rotary and rotary/flat is JUSTICE
B: Oh god. Mid-century muscle cars with massive displacement and no power compared to newer engines or absolute ass acceleration, often both.
Me: every muscle car is the equivalent of Yuugi Hoshiguma. they have the muscle, they have the boob. here come the pain train.
B: So which one is the Nuisance Common? The one that nobody uses but drops constantly and probably has a loud obnoxious announcement when pulled?
Me: HONDA CIVIC, FULL STOP
(more Discord conversation extracts because they are fucking golden, I love all my friends they're the greatest)
C:
All the garage queens and track toys tremble in fear when Corolla goes through the dorms, handing out punishments for failures to perform due to maintenance issues
“Let’s get this over with: all Maseratis have lost fuel privileges for two weeks.”
“That’s what you said two weeks ago!”
“Yes, your crime is existence. Now go think about what you’ve done.”
D:
THAT'S IT
THE COROLLA IS THE FUCKING HALL MONITOR
Me:
COROLLA IS THE HALL MONITOR