The heat is really getting to me. The past few days have been scorching and it's been making me real sluggish and sleepy. Especially today because I definitely passed out for like two hours. Like once I'm home i don't really want to do anything. We also just moved so there's still a lot of organizing to do. But I just remind myself that it all doesn't have to be done now. It will get done.
Content warning for mentions of dealing with anxiety.
My current job has been taking a toll on my mental health lately. Just constant surges of anxiety and I'm not handling very well. I'm starting to have trust issues at work and my fears are blowing the most minute interactions out of proportion. I feel so hopeless and exhausted. And exposed. Like everyone's constantly looking at me with disdain. I'm debating on transferring but I'm hoping I can just leave with a new job set up. But who knows when that will happen. I did a lot today on that front. I applied for jobs, but I just hope I can muster the courage to follow back and call for interviews.
I watched two movies today: one of which I did not finish and the other I started watching halfway from a friend's stream. Both of them weren't great.
I've been listening to Rennala's theme like all day it seems. It's so solemn and the strings are so heavy with emotion. There's also a mix of a majestic children's choir. It's slow and tragic, quite the contrast to most of the boss fights in Elden Ring. In her boss fight she calls you "little culver" and I didn't look up what that meant until now. Apparently it's an affectionate term to call someone in the UK that refers to a dove or small bird. And I just think that's so sweet. Speaking of that game, I played and lost track of time for like an hour and a half. I've been having trouble fighting some of the enemies in certain areas, including Rennala coincidentally, and decided to explore some. I want to find more spells to cast. I came across a cave while doing just that and fought a strong enemy that kept dodging my spells. I had to use summon skeletons to get them distracted so that I could focus fire on them more. It took me a couple tries but I was plenty overleveled for that dungeon and made quick work of them.
Earlier today, after work, briefly listened to Harry Nilsson's album Aerial Bullet. He has a song on there called 'Everybody's Talkin' which was the theme song from Midnight Cowboy, a movie i watched with my friend last week. I found the album that song was on and decided to listen to a bit more of it. I didn't know that he wrote and performed the song 'One'! For as long as I can remember I always thought it was sung by The Beatles. That blew my mind today :O
I wanna start commonplace book. Or at the very least have a physical journal. It'll be like this blog but on paper. If I'm out and I have it with me and I have something I wrote down that I really like, I may carry it over to here. But from what I've heard, keeping a commonplace book will help with retaining more information. And maybe this could be a method for writing and note taking I could use when i eventually go back to school. I want to be a good student. I'm going to be a librarian after all.