i didn't think using a flashgun would give me mild existentialist thoughts about photography, but i'm nothing if not persistent.
i've always felt more of an accidental photographer, and less of an intentional one, or someone who takes a photo at the right moment, over someone who creates a moment and then takes a photo. it's one of the reasons i've avoided doing events or group photos—cajoling people, directing them, just feels a little off to me—and it's one of the reasons I enjoy taking photos of wildlife.
even then, i don't call it "wildlife photography". it feels more like being a duckpond photojournalist. my methodology (walk around a park every day) is a lot closer to street photography than to nature photography (wait in a hide for eight hours straight)
i called it "photojournalism" because i liked to think that my photos were representative. you could go to the duckpond, and there would be the very same goose, and the very same baby ducks, and if you were lucky, the light would be just as good, if not better
i felt my photos were honest, earnest, and forgive me for this indulgence: true, or at least true-to-life
and now i'm using a flashgun.
it's not exactly a photographic crime, but using a flashgun feels much closer to intentional photography, or studio work. i'm not happening upon a good moment where the lighting is just-so, i'm pointing a bulb and battery pack in a random direction and seeing what comes out. i'm trying to force the moment.
or at least, that's how it used to feel.
now i just slap it on the camera, angle the flash gun to bounce off a nearby wall or ceiling, and enjoy the diffuse, soft lighting. i took the picture above earlier today, and it came out near perfect. black cats are a particularly difficult subject for photography, and even with a flash gun, it can be quite difficult to get something that doesn't look washed out.
and today? i nailed it
which lead me to asking, wait, am I actually being more intentional in my work?
is a flashgun actually cheating? or am i just breaking free from the tyranny of sunlight? am i stepping away from honest photography to flattering photography? it took me a moment to calculate my answer.
a flashgun isn't cheating, a flashgun is putting in a lot more work to avoid waiting around for the sun to be in the right place. or as o winston link put it, "i take photographs at night, because otherwise the sun would get in the way".
photography isn't about honesty or truth, it's about capturing a moment—be it spontaneous or planned—and a flash is no more dishonest than asking your friend to turn towards the sun, or to put down the pint glass so it won't be in shot. being better lit doesn't make things any less spontaneous.
and maybe, just maybe, i've always been a little intentional in my work.
truthfully, i just don't have enough practice to turn an image into a lighting setup.
