me: my favourite social media website is dying and i'm pretty sad about it

my son: i understand. i was sad when they took away miiverse

me:

me: yeah, it is sad whenever that happens, isn't it

me (rice cooker shopping): what do you think about this one

my son: nah, this rice cooker looks like a tesla. you want a rice cooker that looks like a dvd player.

my son: math is cool

my son: except then i have to learn math, and that isn't very cool

girlfriend: [bites down on my shoulder hard]

my son: yooooo bruuuh what the heck that's kind of weird