the-doomed-posts-of-muteKi

I'm the hedgehog masque replica guy

嘘だらけ塗ったチョースト


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cathoderaydude
@cathoderaydude

fucking, @atomicthumbs just sent me the most incredible website. Mr. Mixer is a guy who sells and repairs kitchenaid mixers in Wichita. that in itself would just be "Small Business Website," which are always equal parts funny and heartwarming. but no, this goes much harder than usual

Mr. Mixer (also the moniker of the owner / operator) is selling The Everdime™. you see, he has identified the reason that your paddle beater loses its enamel - there's a part that wears down in the tilt mechanism, allowing the head to tilt too far down so the beater strikes the bowl. he has invented a solution: a rubber insert that prevents this sag

the page for this is breathtaking:

  • a "Mr. Mixer certified invention"
  • trademarked™
  • yet only $15
  • product photos are from his smartphone, all shot in portrait
  • he also just uploaded them all, including the blurry one that he reshot - which is the only one 99.9% of visitors are ever going to notice
  • demo video on the front page has blown-out, clipped audio (and as @shadlock0133 pointed out, also starts 5 seconds late because he didn't trim the t= parameter from the URL)
  • and you don't care about any of that and are already thinking of buying one because it looks like a great upgrade

there's also a merch section where you can buy a mr. mixer T-shirt, or a keychain made from a stripped stand mixer worm gear. the last time i saw a website this human was in 1999


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in reply to @cathoderaydude's post:

RPM (Revenue Per Milli)*

  • okay the background here is that the usual ad revenue jargon is "Revenue Per Mille" which is a bizarrely archaic word for "thousand" and tells you how much you get paid per thousand views. in this joke i imagine what it would be like if they said milli instead, because that means a very small amount