(no tags because no tags, but.)
I was thinking about something like this in relation to black excellence, the talented tenth, model minority stuff...part of it is the youtube video essays i've been watching lately but
yeah, let me just say that one of the hardest things I have ever come to terms with over the course of my adult life was untangling how i worked so hard to be the good, mature kid to live up to expectations that others put onto me and that internalized for myself to live up to that hype, that i literally could not learn to take any joy in any of the cool shit i did, up to and including getting a goddamn MFA before I turned 30.
because i internalized the idea that it was "expected" of me to do well and do all that stuff, what point was there in celebrating? it was what i was supposed to do. and now i've got anxiety lol.
Learning to celebrate the simple wins, the "just getting it done" is a helluvan adjustment. Easy for it to feel cheap or unnecessary. Hard to let go of when the stakes are high. Sending you a handshake meme across the internet.
