The Singles Jukebox

Is this party a potluck? I can bring the croutons and parmesan and anchovy and th- oh... different Caesar. Never mind.

[4.05]

Total writers: 20
Highest score: [7]
Lowest score: [1]
Controversy index: 1.44

Iain Mew: Saltburn and all associated with it, mobile network adverts soundtracked by Bloc Party and Klaxons, rock bands as the most hyped new thing and launching their album with re-promoting their debut single: the UK has a big mid-'00s revival going on. In this case specifically, if likely coincidentally, it's a revival of The Hot Puppies. The Last Dinner Party's UK #22 hit "Nothing Matters" with all its theatricality and romantic determination pointing in the same direction, is at least as great as "The Girl Who Was Too Beautiful." There's no re-release edition of it to issue, though, so for new material we get "Caesar on a TV Screen," which sounds like a set of sketches for the four B-sides its CD singles would have had.
[4]

Harlan Talib Ockey: Every year, there’s another Very Buzzy UK rock band. Usually shortlisted for the BBC’s Sound of… award, in recent years the title’s gone to Wet Leg, Yard Act, and now The Last Dinner Party. “Caesar on a TV Screen” is essentially a Queen song; the chorus, in particular, sounds like “Killer Queen” overlaid with “We Are the Champions.” The bombast is dialed so high that even the guitar disappears in the mix during the chorus, and there are instrumental touches that are almost inaudible, like the arpeggiated piano in the second prechorus. Meanwhile, the lyrics are crammed with redundancy. “Caesar” has a strong underlying concept, but the references to Leningrad are completely irrelevant to it. They’re never elaborated upon apart from a line about “Red Scare and how they got it right” (which is a [0], if you ask me). It also rhymes “Leningrad” with itself, hilariously, and couplets like “When I was a child / I never felt like a child” sorely needed another edit. I can’t ave this. 
[3]

Rachel Saywitz: One time in my undergraduate classical music history course, my professor played a clip of Handel’s Giulio Cesare, where mezzo-soprano Sarah Connolly was playing the title role (because Caesar would normally have been played by a castrati in the 1700s). I was so in awe of this woman playing a domineering, brutish man, even as the music itself was light, airy, and elegant; I rushed to find the full opera afterwards to watch. “Caesar on a TV Screen” gives off a similar energy -- Abigail Morris sings as if she is the planet’s center, her melodies leaps into dark, blinding caverns but still manages to land lightly, feet first. The Last Dinner Party have made their splashy debut off of this dramatized glamour, which have lent themselves to a slightly polarized response. And “Caesar” is, no doubt, pretentious: it sweeps from 6/8 to 4/4 time like a corrupt, self-serving royal; its lyrics are at times bizarre enough to run the risk of performing empty metaphors (see the verse about Leningrad and Red Scare). But I can’t swear it all off, not when I hear, “I’ll be Caesar on a TV on a screen,” Morris’ voice layered with reckless abandon, and sharp horns and piano gassing up her cocky self-affirmations. That dream of adding a truly masculine edge to my femininity feels so unattainable to me, which is why I gravitate towards art like this. It’s a bullish want, to be a king. But just the want is enough for me, at least for now.
[7]

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