li (implied)

Invitation to Apocalypse. Drawn in 2022 for Rae Nedjadi's Apocalypse Keys.

so. i boarded Paul T Goldman's (Jason Woliner's) Wild Ride and. i'm 4 out of 6 episodes in and what do i even say. what if i give you this line, spoken by Paul T Goldman in the movie that he wrote that is being shot inside the show: "I don't know what movie I'm in, but I feel like I'm in it." or the moment in episode 2 where they cut to director Jason Woliner staring directly into the camera before waving it away as paul's father says of paul, "I think he's just vulnerable forever."

wikipedia calls Paul T Goldman a "true crime documentary miniseries" and while those words may all technically describe different aspects of the show, putting them together is... not what this is. "documentary-comedy series" isn't right either; comedy, to me, carries a connotation that the audience is there to laugh, and that's not how i think this work is best viewed. yes, i do laugh, because it's absurd. i guess you could watch it as if this person is the punch line, but there's a lot more than that to see.

so how would i describe it? there's a huge autofiction element??? there is a movie and a book within a show. there are real fictionalized people involved, some of whom consented to be a part of this production, and many who did not. there is constant movement between different layers of fiction and reality, narratives wrapped in narratives, frames nested in frames. and of course the show itself is a frame, and i myself get to wonder: about spectacle and voyeurism, about complicity, about how media is presented and perceived. what is a story? how do stories get told?

I eschew both reductionism and holism. There are only formless intentionalities which gain form through the process of correlation. These intentionalities are neither object nor subject, they have no boundaries, but they can understand themselves and others as having any of those properties through the chaotic play of correlations. The head/neck boundary may change depending on the utility of it. A person may view themselves as a subject in a particular society due to the history of the society and/or the individual.

Being formless and open, intentionalities deny any kind of scientific or idealist reductionism. Any kind of division in them, necessary for an atomism or subjectivism, is accidental. Likewise a holistic essentialism is impossible, for if any property is accidental then a unifying essence is not possible.