number one new yournk hater


MrDrugs69
@MrDrugs69

There should be a profession that's like a locksmith where they just come over and find the thing that's not where it's supposed to be, for a modest fee. Wallets, keys, phones, whatever. They know all the tricks, but--and this is very important--they don't have the same blindness you do about where things exist in your home so they will try places you wouldn't.


sedge
@sedge
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NoelBWrites
@NoelBWrites

Tony, Tony, come around. Something's lost and can't be found

  • Your Catholic grandma, probably.

(Not mine, she lit a candle to San Antonio instead)


Zorzamoth
@Zorzamoth

If you lose something and want to find it, you have to grab a sock, make a knot on it and recite:

  • San Cucufato, san Cucufato, los cojones te ato. Y si no encuentro lo que busco, no te los desato.

Translation: Saint Cucufate, saint Cucufate, i'm tying your balls. And unless i find what i'm looking for, i'm not untying them.

Apparently, the saint then will then work to make your object magically appear, so you release his testicles from torture. But my wife lost a ring months ago and we haven't found it again, so i guess this saint is really into bdsm or something...

You can even find the spell on his wikipedia page:


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in reply to @MrDrugs69's post:

ok my grandma used to call me "the little finder" and praise me for finding things (this sounds so fake i swear it's real) (also usually they were small things on the floor so it was kind of specific) also i have several years of experience being around people with an ADHD dx who misplace things. i am so qualified for this job please let me be the Objects Detective

maddening. we must think alike because I looked in liminal cleaning places, even in cupboards, in the fridge, in the pantry shelves, in the "deadly chemicals" area under the sink. by a weird coincidence (???) i happened to run my dishwasher last night for the first time so I thought SURELY it has to be in there. it wasn't in there. It's not going to slip out the drain, and it's made of metal so it couldn't have broken in there. I even checked along the sliding racks to see if it got caught along the edges of the rails. nothing.

in reply to @Zorzamoth's post:

lmao I was not familiar with this one

In Argentina a more secular but still sadistic (???) "finding spell" is to turn an empty glass upside down and say some variation of: "Atrape a la nada, como la que esta en mis manos. Hasta que no aparezca mi [objeto], no libero a la nada que he capturado"

"I have caught the nothing, nothing like I have in my hands. Until my [object] doesn't come back, I won't free the nothing I trapped under this glass"

I like it because it's kind of like a hostage exchange with the Void.