There are a few things I'm trying to deprogram from my brain that are really tricky to tackle because I can't pin down exactly why they happen or what caused it. Why do I get so nervous from physical intimacy as basic as hugging? No idea, hard to even approach that one.
And then there are other things where I know exactly what caused it, I can pinpoint the exact moment when the seed was planted and I'm left full of seething fury at how I now have to dig the roots out myself. Fuck those people who filled my head with the smoke and mud that I have to slog through now.
