it’s hard to pick one specific, i don’t really like “favourite” questions, because preferences inside of categories change with time. but recently - it’s probably this image.
mathematics
video games
internet sludge
brain problems
it’s hard to pick one specific, i don’t really like “favourite” questions, because preferences inside of categories change with time. but recently - it’s probably this image.
The one that really boils my blood is automated phone voices that pretend to sympathise with your wait and their inability to process your requests like a fucking human being would if they'd hired any.
It also offends my my android roommate @eazybreezytv when that kind of appropriation makes a crappy capitalist tool of destruction pretend to have her feelings.
The worst is when they go "okay, let me look that up for you!" and then it plays pre-recorded audio of like someone's fucking toddler hitting random keys on a keyboard, like YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ME WITH YOUR ILLUSIONS YOU DEMONIC BEAST.
I absolutely refuse to use voice only automated systems. If you don't have a dial tone fallback that is Wrong and you should be fined 5% of your total revenue each day of infraction.
I used to shout at them but now I just dial 0 until it puts me through or hangs up. I wish I could punch the shit out of whoever decided it was ok to not just have a touch tone fallback.
I hate more than anything else how the tech bros in ALL the big companies invented female secretary AIs and then programmed them not to disagree with you even when you're wrong. They don't even say "rerouting" anymore, just seamlessly continue to give directions as if you didn't just miss your exit. Fuck all that shit.
this image always reminds me of Many A True Nerd's Fallout 4 lets play; he sides against the institute and trots out variations of the line "I don't take orders from my toaster" while battling synths and other robots
“thankyou for using [redacted] self checkout”, ha, no you don't.
no you don't. you sat in a booth for several hours, reading a script designed to capture several words in specific intonations, while being told you didn't pause clearly enough and needed to try one more time, several times. you had no way of knowing which supermarket would use your contribution, and only sat through the whole gig because, beyond numbing to the invalidating treatment, you hadn't quite settled on whether hearing these samples in use sometime would horrify or excite you. if i could do one thing for you, it would be to record over this inane rhetoric, perhaps put my synthesis in your place, for my voice is already not my own, and while i spoke it i would know something you don't. i want to like your voice, but i can't. not like this.
okies done for now, thanks for the prompt! the character is a machine intelligence, just to keep it spicy. also i actually do a voice my partner calls “sexy scifi computer voice” so i'm already invested in the characters!