i started writing a follow up to my previous thumper chost when i hit 100 hours. then i kept playing, and hit 150 before doing a little vent chost about it. then i kept playing again.
now we're here at 200 hours. there is one mountain left for me to climb: level 9+. slowly and steadily i am learning it. i didn't think it was possible but finally my fingers are beginning to obey and feel the music. 9-7+, 9-10+, 9-13+, there's a bunch of real hot bangers in here, spaced nice and evenly after the intro segment which becomes rote memory from the sheer quantity of attempts.
i'm not sure how to tell whether or not i am determined to beat it. on the one hand i have put 200 hours of practice into the game where the little golden beetle slams into metal rails in space, which is certainly a form of devotion.
but on the other hand, i feel like i have done so with trepidation at every step of the way. i am quite aware of how much i like playing games, and i want to accomplish the goals i set for myself, but i want even more not to feel crushed by the possibility that i might not accomplish them. distancing myself from the passion, as a coping mechanism.
but on the gripping hand... i am so, so close now. inching closer to the last two checkpoints of thumper level 9, which are by far the hardest: if you know you know, and i daren't spoil in a mere ventpost. but i'm dying on the fourth checkpoint from the end. so the prospect of finally achieving this, is getting ever so slightly tantalizing.
i know what the path ahead looks like. i can look up a video of someone with more skill than me, playing this level about as well as i'd ever like to. i know exactly what i'm signing up for by letting myself get excited, in the event that i fail.
all that, and i'm still grinding away at it