i think maybe (at least part of) the reason i feel chronically isolated and lonely is bc a majority of people i know are cis and abled and i'm always pushed away by their weird microagressions and general lack of udnerstanding. even with people who say that they feel close to me, and i always say that they're my close friends too, but the reality is more that they're the friends who i'm closest too but there's still this insurmountable wall bc of them being cis and/or abled. but i can't say that to anyone bc they always take it personally!!
this isn't to be like "cis people and trans people / abled people and disabled people can never be true, real, close friends", but i just feel like a lot of cis and abled people just don't like to acknowledge that they are still capable of being ableist/transphobic to me even if they consider themself an ally or my friend. and that like... they still occupy a position in society where they're my oppressor, and that me being upset about their microagressions is not just me being upset "bc they were a bit mean" or whatever. it all feels so unfair. like on a societal level.