twitch of twitch.cymru

deleted tumblr. for good this time i think. i don't feel regret/shame like i did after the other times i spontaneously deleted my blog while having some sort of episode.

sitting used to be enough for me to rest but these days my body frequently gets too tired to be able to support myself sitting up, so i'm spending more time lying down. and god the feeling of relief when i lie down and don't have to hold myself upright anymore is blissful. sometimes i forget that i'm simply allowed to lie down when everything feels too heavy.

but tbh lying down isn't enough anymore, i need to exist in zero gravity.

attempting eleventy again later once i've done my appointment. or maybe something else if i still can't wrap my head around it. i've got a few different guides so i'm hoping at least one of them will explain it in a way i understand, but also i am extremely fatigued.

i find it hard to interact with abled people, english people, and cis people, despite their best intentions. but it's never something i've been able to explain to them in a way they understand bc they always take it so personally.

it feels unfair when they clearly want to be a good ally but then they act like i'm horrible to them for pointing out some microagression or whatever, but maybe it's my fault for trying to talk to them/treat them the same way i would with a disabled/cis/person from a minoritised culture.