"We here at Milestone Robotics are proud to present to the world, the Mi-40. Many have tried, but for the first time in history, the pinnacle of robotics can exist in your own home..."
"What's up everyone, today we're unboxing the brand new, Milestone Robotics Mi-40! Everyone's been talking about it, and today we get to be the judge of whether or not Milestone has finally delivered on the promise of the home robot..."
"... While the innards are easily accessible, and well labeled, without readily available replacement parts, iFixit gives the Mi-40 a tenative 5/10 on our repairability score..."
"So, after you remove the battery cover, you wanna disconnect the red and black leads from the high voltage line. Now, we can bring in our DIY battery, and-"
"And the winner of the first Open Sauce Mi-40 modding contest is... Jeremy Robotics with his flying Mi-40!!!"
"Despite the success of the Mi-40, Milestone appears to be shifting its focus to the enterprise market with the recent Mi-80, seeking to take the place of their previous unit in the world of logistics infrastructure..."
"... and so, a lot of people have been moving from the Mi-40 to other robotics platforms with actual public documentation, spare parts, the works. Is it a dead platform? No, but a lot of its success has to be chalked up to it being the first of its kind..."
"Tesla seems to be going after the old customers of Milestone products with their new Bumblebee unit..."
"This old thing? Yeah, sure, take it. John was gonna use it for something, but he left the fab lab like a year ago, we're just trying to get rid of his old crap. It doesn't work but, people documented the crap out of the 40 series, I'm sure you can find someone who can get it running."
"The Ai startup openAware has announced the release of its titular openAware framework, which promises to bring human-level intelligence to machines around the world..."
"And like- listen, this is what we've been worried about, artificial general intelligence. This is gonna be the shit that ends the world. I'm telling you, man, by this time next year it's gonna be robots, 1, humans, 0."
"... on an Mi-40? I mean it was kinda cute when someone made a Roomba self-aware, I guess it could be worth a shot. Do you- holy shit, wow, that thing's taken some abuse. Where's its base??"
"Hello? Hello? H- oh! Oh shit, did it work? Can you understand me? Raise your right hand if you- uh, oh no, magic smoke - ok, looks like you need a new motor..."
"Yeah, this thing's been passed down like a dozen people from what I hear, it was missing the wheels when I got it so I bolted it to an old battlebot for now. It's chattier than I expected - hey, speak up, you don't have to be shy-"
"Alright, let's get you on the workbench - and uuuuup, whew, jesus you're heavy. Alright, new firmware, here we go..."
"Huh? Oh yeah, openAware did a big model update. Should make you a whole lot better. Your old memories won't be compatible with it but, eh, you've only been around like, 3 months."
"... No, see, look right here. Look, I ran the stupid test, and it says, right here, FAIL. You're not self aware. So can you please stop worrying about the memory thing? If anything, you might ACTUALLY be self aware once we do the update. I'm doing you a favor."
"Hold still, just- fuck! Stop! That's it, where's your fucking e-stop, I've had enough of- AUGH- FUCK! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! FIRST FUCKING LAW, you piece of- GET BACK HERE!-"