I bring news, all ye! Shadith the werehog is a subpar magician. He cast spells upon mine betrothed! ye hath heard that correctly, he erected his splinterous tome upon my wife and doth cast magic upon her, stating that his tome was as vast as the spires of golemloch. Needless to say I was horrified.
Because of this, i have taken it upon myself to bring light upon this across the wizard network. Shadith the werehog, my scrying reveals to me that your tome is likened to a pamphlet, yet even that would be generous. and yet the grimoire in my posession tells a different story;
It hath more pages than one could ever hope to boast about, yet there is nary a hair's width of material protruding its pages, nor a single blemish upon its covers. Magestic, it is as though all the paper in the world were condensed into one monsterous artifact.
He hexed my wife, so in retaliation, I shall be hexing the lands! Yes, it is so! I am casting Magnum Celeriter Aqua!
But you see now, I was not aiming my despicable spell at the lands, the very kingdom of God will know my rage! May the King tremble at my wrath! I cast it upon the heavens, you knave!
All ye fools who read this notice should consider this a tremendous warning, that before the sun doth set and rise again to the position it is in the sky as it was this moment, there will be a great downpour so strong as to rend flesh and leave land barren, do not bother me lest i cast it again.
