uhuh100

aeonlight

@uhuh100

the Champagne Supernova system

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uhuh100
@uhuh100
k9ok
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PhormTheGenie
@PhormTheGenie

Why CoHost Matters (To Me)

I've been trying for the last few days to collect my thoughts about CoHost and present them in a way that might matter to anyone. I want to write about why CoHost feels so unique. Why I enjoyed my time here, and why it felt somehow more accessible and inspiring to me while I was here.

Yet, every time I start, it takes only a few minutes before I realize I'm rambling off track wildly - Writing about my history with furry, writing about every other website I've had a presence on, writing about wherever I go, how I feel small, insignificant, and in danger. It feels wrong to dwell on all that, though. It feels wrong particularly here at the end of CoHost, when I ought to be celebrating what made it a nice place to be.

So I'll say this: CoHost made me feel safe being myself. CoHost allowed me to connect with old friends in a way I previously thought impossible, and make new ones in a way I didn't think I was capable. CoHost allowed me to post silly nonsense and share a laugh, and then turn around and post heavy reflections on struggles with gender, or mental health. CoHost let me share my weird, sad queer fiction, and people I've never met before actually read it. CoHost let me be a genie the way I've always wanted, and always been. CoHost let me feel like I could be myself without being shunned or judged, but instead actually be encouraged. CoHost let me be all these things at once without contradiction. Now, I'll confess I still have work to do on all this, but... I sure got a nice glimpse.

CoHost let me see the amazing artwork, writing, and music of other people. Fantastic, wonderful stuff that that would've been hidden under an avalanche of advertisement and algorithmic slop on any other platform. CoHost let those people have a place (and thus a motivation) to create. CoHost let me see other people being their unfettered selves, and let me see them finding comfort and community in that expression of self. CoHost let me see other people creating specifically for themselves, rather than for competition or engagement.

CoHost let me see other people thriving.

And CoHost let me feel for a while that maybe, just maybe, I could thrive too. That maybe I deserved that.

Was it perfect? No, not at all. There were problems from the word go, and I admit that. It didn't always feel great. And I know there were people for who it didn't click at all.

But as corny as it sounds, it sure did feel like home to me.

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PhormTheGenie
@PhormTheGenie

I'm really going to miss this place, and I'm going to miss you. All of you. I know we can all keep up with each other through other means, though. And I'll put in that effort for sure.

But as I face the fact that everything will shut down in less than a month, all the old worries are already creeping back in. I know I can stay connected, and I know there are other places to go. But it feels like so many people are going to place A, but so many others to B, and still others to C or D. And while connections can be made, the proximity that CoHost provided was I think more invaluable than anything else. With people scattered, it feels almost impossible to keep up - Plus, there's tribalism creeping in at the edges that makes choosing a landing place uncomfortable.

There are paths forward, but they're all murky and uncertain.

I find myself worrying I'll become insignificant and invisible again in the way I always seem to.

But I still have to try.

I'll let people know when I figure out where I'll be.

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ThatGenieProblem
@ThatGenieProblem

For certain we'll always have a comfy spot for as long as anthracite maintains the Mastodon server, though I do realise that is fragile reassurance indeed, and a far smaller vista.

I truly hope an alternative will materialise soon that will give us something close to the feel this place has. I will be on the lookout for sure!

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PhormTheGenie
@PhormTheGenie

Very much yes! Dragon Style will always be a refuge for me - It's a server I hold deeply in my heart, populated with people I deeply care about. I love it, and it is a comfy and safe place to be.

The sad thing is that so many folks just don't want to use Mastodon. I don't blame them at all - the platform has its issues, and plenty of them. So that limits a lot of connectivity.

Plus, while our generous administrator has loosened the maximum character limit, as much as I hate to admit it Mastodon just isn't great for long form writing. People don't really want to engage with pages of text squeezed into a tiny column.

Dragon Style is always going to be incredibly special to me. But I do hope there's something to compliment it!

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Reba-Rabbit
@Reba-Rabbit

Your expressions of why it matters to you are the closest I've found to my own. I had to fight back tears earlier tonight witnessing the passion of tech-savy folks conversing and planning on how to make something new in the spirit of cohost already. I thought it would take more time for the first jab at something like that to be attempted. And I think... that convinced me that most everyone who's been here regularly understands how this place is different and appreciates it and wants it to continue on in some way. And I think that being in so many people's hearts is a sign that maybe that feeling of home is one that will be spread purposefully beyond the bounds of these eggbug colored walls.

Losing this place hurts, but its beautiful to see how so many people held it in respectful regard for what it's been. When has there ever been a social media site whose users made countless posts about what it meant to them instead of shitposts about its demise?

I feel like subverting the "this place is not a place of honor" meme that people have spammed on twitter because highly esteemed deeds should be commemorated here and there's much to value in this place.

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