IT IS JUNE 1ST, 2023

AND RENT IS DUE

Community Updates:

• Management is aware that the south elevator has been experiencing issues. Repairs are underway. Residents are advised to avoid the adjoining hallway, as repairs will be causing large volumes of noise and viscera in the area.
• If you have seen the Custodians' Vacuum, please inform Management as soon as possible. The Custodians are hungry.
• As baseball, blaseball, and angstball seasons are in full swing, remember that you MUST have the appropriate parking attachments (sticker, magnet, or tattoo) on your personal vehicles. Management will be towing all vehicles not marked in the appropriate manner.
• Summer is upon us! Management will be disabling all air conditioning units for the summer solstice in celebration. Complaints will be noted and disregarded.

Community Calendar:

• June 9th: Annual Happy Hour. Snacks, soda, alcohol, marijuana, opiates, salvia, LSD, shrooms, and other hallucinogens will be provided for an unforgettable (or forgettable) time with other residents!
• June 18th: Father's Day - celebrate the seed from which you were birthed/hatched/evicted!
• June 21st: Summer Solstice. This year, the focus word is "Heat." Air conditioning, fans, ice, and any cooling devices will be banned. Additionally, the pool will be closed.
• June 28th: Trivia Night! Teams of up to 4 residents can compete for $99 off of next month's Rent!

Community Spotlight

This month, Management would like to spotlight Hilda, Faerie of the Sea! Hilda has been a resident for six years and seven rent increases. She has shown a perseverance against all odds, never missing a payment despite the demands placed on her trickster profession in this day and age. Knowing Hilda's true name, Management has been honored to enforce an honest, amicable, two-way relationship with her throughout her entire residency. You go, girl!