there is a part of me that keeps going "i need to be working, preparing, i need to get my website up Now, i need to add an rss reader to my life, i need to Create one last thing before cohost goes down, i need to be doing stuff immediately" but the part of me that is winning is the one that goes "no. i'm not going to do any of that."
i could read this conflict as "a proactive desire to prepare and ensure the smoothest possible transition with the least loss of connection VS. laziness and denial and depression and executive dysfunction" or as "a frantic anxiety-fueled clinging to the past VS. calm acceptance that what will be will be and not all of it is under my control" and i feel like neither of those is really correct. but i do know that i don't feel like forcing myself to go through the entire process of making a website, from the actual HTML to the finding a way to host it that i find satisfactory without breaking the bank, within the space of 4 days
Feeling much the same about this. Was hoping to make some more project posts by the end of things, but I've been struggling just to function this week and that energy is probably better spent pushing in other areas of my life. Organizing the Madison cohost meetup and engaging with people directly in other places online will probably be the extent of what I'm capable of for now, and that's okay. I'll miss what was here, and I'll appreciate seeing everything others do to send the place off. But at the end of the day what I do or don't accomplish here in the final moments isn't going to change how much the place meant to me, or the opportunities it's opened up for me going forwards.
