As a noted expert on month-long bicycle racers and a many-time participator, I always find that the old tricks work the best:
- imbibing strychnine, nitroglycerin and tying an ether-soaked rag underneath your chin, to fire up the muscles and deaden the leg pain
- laxatives in your competitors water bottles, to make it more interesting for them
- car rides! when you get tired, hop on a motor vehicle and let that sweet internal combustion carry you forward while you rest. neat and perfectly legal!
- if all else fails, ride through your hometown and have a rabid crowd of locals fell trees, spread broken glass and nails, and just straight up attack your competitors with sticks and clubs. top spot of the leg, guaranteed!