halcyon weeks

turns out...there is no consistent "waiting for motivation to strike". waiting often has the opposite effect of driving motivation away instead. if i want to be consistent at being creative, i have to get into a habit of creating for its own sake, so that when i have an inspiration it can become a creation without much interference.

a finished thing, whatever it is, is never a simple, instant, magical creation made by demigods and i must stop feeling discouraged by my own inability to meet those unrealistic standards because no one does. there is an insidious impulse in my mind to craft ever loftier goals completely disregarding the effort required to achieve previous ones, and reducing any creative process into a series of career milestones, like on a resume or something.

michael phelps has literally different fucking genes that make him swim so fast. stop comparing yourself with people you know nothing about. you don't know what they've gone through, how many years it took them to get there, how passionate they are, how much they've suffered and what they've given up for what they've achieved. or how privileged they are, how much money they've been given, how carefully others have carved their way for them. it's not your path on life, so just concentrate on yours, and liberate yourself of that burden.