wifetrick

i was gonna try and put this poetically but i can't find the words to do that, a lotta nights these nights i'm just stuck in bed thinking ab my worth as a person, and how i have hurt a lot of ppl by moving thro my life as myself, and it makes me wonder how much of me i need to sacrafice to feel like my existance is justified, even thoigh all that pain came from sacrafice to begin with and the eventual collapse of my ability to keep sacraficing that which i am, masking my true self, being alive is complicated, i don't think humans have an inherent value or worth and yet all i can think about right now is why was it me, why was i the one born, what weird twist of fate made it so the baby before me was a miscarriage and so i got the chance to exist instead, that shit really digs at me, i had such a massively hugh chance to not exist and yet here i am despite it all, what the fuck am i gonna do with this chance? what's my next move?